Beauty Out of Africa

Reflections on Being 40 Something

First I must confess that I do not look or feel 40 ish. I feel like a very wise 28 year old :)

Anyway, I think one of the reasons people call 40 middle age is that it is a time to reflect on your life and make necessary adjustments in order to really start living the best years of your life.

So here are a few of my reflections and proposed adjustments:

1. Continue to grow in my Christian life. Having a strong spiritual foundation in Christ has allowed me to live a purpose driven life. I know I was designed for a very specific purpose which unfolds as I follow Him. This foundation gives me confidence to keep moving ahead even in the midst of negative circumstances.
2. Finding a mentor and being a mentor. I have attached myself to women who are successful in areas that I am seeking to grow in. I also make room for younger women to come alongside and learn with me.
3. I have a very keen sense that life is short and tomorrow is not promised. Stepping out of my comfort zone, risking failure and ridicule but knowing that it was the right thing to do. I step out on the edge knowing that it's better to have tried and failed than to live with the regrets of 'what ifs'
   
4. Know you are beautiful. Why does it take women so long to fully appreciate their beauty? For the longest time I would not wear open toe shoes or sandals because I thought my feet were ugly and you know what, maybe they were. But so what? They are the only pair of feet I've got. Why should I deny myself the pleasure of wearing all the beautiful strappy sandals Nordstrom & DSW have to offer because of some vain concern. It occured to me that one day when I am old and gray with gnarly twisted toes, I would look back with regret that I did not appreciate how lovely my feet were in my youth. Needless to say, I started getting regular pedicures and enjoying open toe shoes.
5. Try things I've never done before. I trained to run a marathon a couple of years ago. I suffered a stress fracture and ended up doing a half marathon. It was just as much fun and it challenged me.
6. My next goal is learn how to swim properly and stop faking it.
7. Travel the world. I need to travel more. I want to go to India, Singapore, Kenya, and South Africa in the next 2 years
8. The better care I take of myself, the better wife, mother, sister and friend I will be. Pay attention to your body and do something about it if there is a problem. Don't be in denial. Don't ignore lumps bumps and fibroids.

The Kindness of a Stranger

Have you ever been approached by a stranger asking for money after a long drawn out tale of woe? Most of the time you suspect they are just looking for a couple of bucks to support a bad habit right?
Well this past Saturday, I experienced what it was like being in a position of need and having to depend on the kindness of strangers. Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, my purse and car key got locked in Car #1.

After a couple of hours in the hot sun, a friend dropped me off at home to get a spare key and drive Car #2 back to Car #1. As I am driving Car #2, I notice that my gas tank is empty. I have barely enough gas to get to the gas station. Somehow I manage to get to gas station and realize that I have no way of getting gas because my purse is locked in Car # 1,  Aaaagh! I go into the gas station and try to explain my situation to the gas attendant, I promise that if he gives me 1/2 of a gallon of gas so I can drive to my other car, I will come back and pay him. From the look on his face I could tell he was not buying my story.

I was getting a little desperate because I knew I couldn't leave without getting some gas. Imagine getting stuck on the side of the road in 90 degree weather without gas, cell phone or a wallet? I couldn't call my husband to help because he was waiting for me  to pick him up and I obviously was not in a position to call him. I turned to the other customers in the station, hoping someone would show some mercy but every one avoided my gaze and another lady told me she couldn't help.

I went back out to my car wondering what I was going to do. I notice a young man pumping gas and I walked up to him and asked if he would help. I tried to briefly explain what had happened and I don't know if I was making much sense.This young man was so gracious. After he was done pumping gas in his car, he swiped his credit card and pumped not 1 but 2 gallons of gas into my tank. I don't know how much diesel fuel costs in your neck of the woods, but it's close to $5.00 a gallon here in Baltimore.
I was so touched and all I could say was a heartfelt God Bless you. he didn't want me to pay him back and I didn't want to insult him by insisting. If you ever run into a wonderful Cape Verdean by the name of Adylson, thank him again for me.

Lesson Learned: If anyone approaches me needing help, regardless of how improbable their story is, I will do what I can to help. You just never know when you will be in the same situation, at the mercy of the kindness of strangers.

The Power of An Apology

I was  running around Baltimore, last week trying to get a shipment from Ghana cleared. I finally got all the needed approvals and headed to the Customs Office to get my papers stamped for clearance. I greeted the officer at the desk, handed him the paperwork and explained briefly the reason I was there. Nothing prepared me for what the officer said to me. "What is your immigration status here in the US? " he asked. I was shocked.

 

That question was like a slap in the face. What did my immigration status have to do with clearing goods. What was it about me, that made him feel that was an appropriate question. When I finally found my voice, I told him I was a US citizen. He asked for my license, took the paperwork and went to the back office.

 

While I sat and waited, I went I went from shock to anger and then to hurt. I was hurt because I felt he had no reason to ask me that question. If I had been a blond Canadian, would he have asked me the same question. I was being questioned just for being me - An African with an accent.

He came out after 15 minutes. Gave me back my license and approved my paperwork to clear the shipment. I then asked him, what was it about me that made him ask about my Status in the US? He told me he asked the question to everyone who walked through the door. I found that hard to believe. So I asked again if it was because I am black and have an accent - and would you have asked that question if I wasn't. He said he would have asked the question regardless. Then I told him how that question made me feel. I told him that I felt like I had just been racially profiled. What he said next surprised me again. He said when he asked the question that the expression on my face changed and he could tell I was hurt. He apologized and said it was not his intent to hurt me but he always asks the question about immigration status.

Now I have no way of verifying how he handles every person that walks through the door. The point here is that, the moment he apologized, and I know he was sincere, all the hurt and anger left. He acknowledged the offense and apologized.

Have you inadvertently hurt someone by words or deeds? All of us have inflicted hurt and pain on others at some time or another. Instead of making excuses and justifying your actions, a simple apology may be all they need.

 

Celebrate The Resurrection

He Makes All Things New

Look around you and you will see that Spring has sprung. Tulips are peeping up from the ground. The trees are budding. Nature is waking up from her long winter rest and bringing forth new life. This Spring could mark a new beginning in your life.
Spring is an especially precious time because we celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Christ died to give us a new start. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. The Bible says that if any man embraces Christ, he becomes a new person -  out with the old, in with the new. If  you are tired of dragging around bad habits, negative attitudes and pain why not give it up and and take on a new life with Jesus?

 

Embrace a New beginning this Spring and you'll never be the same

In Memory of Caleb Adonye Chamberlain

I got a call at 5:00am on Monday morning form my dear friend, Ciana. She told me that she was at the hospital because her 4 year old Caleb was not breathing. I woke my husband up and we both prayed that Caleb would pull through and we tried to go back to sleep. Within the hour we got a call from a mutual friend  advising us that Caleb had passed on, he was dead. It took me a while to process this information. Even though his mother had told me he wasn't breathing, 'death' had not quite registered in my brain. It took a second call and the mention of the word 'death' to make me realize what had happened. Caleb had passed on peacefully in his sleep at about 4:00 am Monday morning

Caleb Adonye Chamberlain

December 21st 2003 - March 10th 2008

Caleb was born to Adonye and Ciana Chamberlain after many years of trying to have children. He was indeed a miracle boy. Shortly after birth he contracted meningitis and became chronically ill. Caleb and his family fought a long battle with his health - many surgeries, infections, pain and hospitalizations. His last hospital stay was in May of 2007. The road to recovery was long and hard, but he pulled through because of the love and attention showered on him by his family and a team of loving caretakers. Caleb was doing very well this year. He attended Jackson Road Elementary in Silver Spring where he was known to be the teachers pet. He was in church with his family on Sunday the day before his passing away.

I visited the Chamberlain home on Monday afternoon where Adonye and Ciana were doing their best to hold things together. Through tears they reminisced about the beauty and loving nature of their son. I was really touched when Adonye said he didn't know what he was going to do with himself. You see, Caleb required a lot of care from feeding, to changing to exercising and his father was very involved in the process. According to Adonye, his whole schedule and business appointments revolved around Caleb's care. "Now that Caleb is gone what do I do with my time" is what Adonye wistfully said amidst tears.

Event hough Caleb's care was very demanding on both Adonye and Ciana, they had adjusted it into their family lifestyle and were accustomed to the process.
Even though Caleb couldn't speak, Ciana and Adonye knew what his needs were. According to Ciana, when Caleb was fussy, it was usually due to 3 things; He needed a diaper change, food or love. His need for love was satisfied when he would lay his head on Mom or Dad and was rocked gently.

Caleb loved to be around other children, he loved riding on the school bus and most of all he loved to be held. Sandra Ross, an assistant teacher at Jackson Road Elementary said that Caleb touched many lives, especially the lives of those who worked with him at the school.

We thank God for the beautiful yet short life of Caleb Adonye Chamberlain. We know he now rests in a place where there is no more pain or physical limitation. He rests in the bosom of our heavenly Father

Find YourStrength Zone

We all have equal value in Gods eyes but we don’t have equal giftedness. We all have talents and God requires that we develop them. In their book Now, Discover your Strengths, Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton state that every person is capable of doing something better than the next 10,000 people. They call this area your Strength Zone, and they encourage that you find it and make the most of it. Dr Maxwell writes: " It’s been my observation that people can increase their ability in an area by only 2 points on a scale of 1- 10. For example if your natural talent in an area is 4, with hard work you may raise it to a 6. In other words you can go from a little below average to a little above average. But let’s say you find a place where you are a 7; you have the potential to become a 9, maybe even a 10, if it’s your strength zone and you work hard at it. That helps you advance from 1 in 10,000 talent to 1 in 100,000 talent – but only if you do the other things needed to maximize your talent"

So, find your strength zone!

*Excerpt from Immanuels Church Daily Devotional, The Word for you Today, Dec thru Feb 2008.